I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m the only good driver in Sydney... perhaps even all of NSW. My indicating skills? Perfect. My parallel parking skills? Unparalleled (see what I did there?) and I stick to the speed limit. If it’s 40kms then you can count the sequins on our maxis that I’m going 40kms. Everyone else? Not sure how they got off their L plates tbh. They don’t give way. They stop whenever they want then have the nerve to put their hazard lights on like they’re having an emergency when in reality they’re waiting for their mate Karen and that just happens to be the prime position. These are just a few examples of what I have to deal with on the daily. It’s hard being a good driver, y’know?
1. Oh, you’re merging into my lane? It'd be great if there was some way you could INDICATE where you're going...
2. Why bother indicating when you’re halfway in my lane???????
3. Get off your phone!!!!!!
4. I wish I had dash cam
5. I hope I caught that on my dash cam
6. Was that my exit?
7. Yep, it totes was. Cool.
8. Slow down Sally, we’re not playing Need For Speed
9. Go, go, go, go, go
10. We both could’ve made the light if you didn’t slow down
11. *seeing people who look younger than you driving* UGH
12. *seeing old people driving* UGH
13. *seeing cyclists* STAY. AWAY. FROM. ME.
14. *when someone doesn’t give you way but you squeeze in anyway*
15. To hit the Macca’s Drive-thru or to not hit the Macca’s Drive-thru?
16. Is my windshield wiper setting too high? *looks around at other cars for validation*
17. Is that a free parking spot or a small car? (Hint: it’s always a small car)
18. *when someone gives you way*
19. Another school zone? FFS
20. Yay, I love driving between two very big trucks
21. Did you just beep at ME?
22. I can’t believe you just beeped at me
23. *driving past a police car* Hello officer, I am a great driver and I love following the rules!
24. Would it kill you to move forward omg!!!!!!
25. Look at this idiot queuing across the intersection
26. Oh sh*t I’m blocking the intersection
27. *when you see someone with the same car as you*
28. Why do you need a 20 meter gap between you and the car in front?
29. Woooooo more traffic delays! Lovin’ life
30. Will I still make my 9am?
31. I’m early? Might as well sit in my car for 20 minutes
32. *what you think when someone suggests taking public transport*